it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize