I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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