I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize