and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
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The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
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Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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