i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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