Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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