Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize