At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize