I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize