apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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