and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
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We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
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She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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