Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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