No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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