You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize