You're my little dorito
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize