i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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