Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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