About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize