I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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