Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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