The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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