She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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