there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize