did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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