I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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