I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
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It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
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And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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