so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
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She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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