I think im going to throw up on grandma
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize