you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So. Much. Porn.
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