I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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