so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize