i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize