Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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