I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize