Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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