party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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