i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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