soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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