I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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