So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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