dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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