so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
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When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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