so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
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I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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