Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
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I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
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I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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