so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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