You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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