youre lurking in front of me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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