Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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