So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
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He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
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He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize