Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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